And it leads you to a room filled with plastic flowers

Eighties - Blyss

when you find your castle on the hill
with the bars on the windows
will you burn the bridge behind you
will you ever come out and see the sun again
or will you hide
and now how long has it been
since you've seen the light

make your way on the stairs
to the top of your tower
stone cold floors
hardwood doors
lead you to your room of plastic flowers
they still look the same
drenched in water
it comforts you to think that they're alive

it could have been easier than this
if you threw it all away
what would you miss
it could have been too much of a chance to take
the silence in your head would have to break
your grip is slipping faster
looks like you'll have to face yourself after all

step outside the shadows of your cage
strangled truth
stolen youth
is written on every line of every page
it's your story
do you want it back
you have to decide if it is worth it
swim across the swamp to the other side
run until you're out of breath
and when you look back they'll be nothing left
but a memory fading quickly

it could have been easier than this
if you threw it all away
what would you miss
it could have been too much of a chance to take
the silence in your head would have to break
your grip is slipping faster
looks like you'll have to face yourself after all

Emo kid why so emo?

Sianzzzzzz.... Lost my iPod touch last night.... Think I got pickpocketed at butter.... Damn sian seriously. I got it for like 6 months only? Sigh..... Anyway, just to update on my last exam paper, I screwed it up pretty badly. Was just writing bullshit and throwing smoke bombs. My only hope is my mid terms exam which constitutes 50% of the total grade. Got a B+ for it, so hopefully it'll pull up my grades.

Been thinking lately that my life now is seriously damn screwed up. I'm seriously fucking hopeless. HOPELESS FUCK

Anyway, after the clubbing experience last night with JY, I think I kinda shocked him with the new me.

Huh?

Exams went pretty well. Other than econs, which I don't think I'll do well. Won't fail it though. Still have 1 last paper!!! RARHX!!! Have no idea how well it'll go. Don't like to write essays... :s

Exam stress really got to me the past few weeks and now that it's (partially) over, I feel much more light hearted. Though I'm really confused at what's happening. Seriously messed up. Is that something that you do with friends? What does all of this mean to her? I seriously have no idea what is she thinking....

What goes up must come down

Sigh... Just when I though things are getting better, I had to go screw it all up. Took a chance and it snapped back. Mixed feelings. Too much feelings to be exact. What with exams going now, it is not helping at all.

Disappointed, stressed, confused. Thought it would end well after it happened... But she seems to regret it. I want something more than that. But will it ever happen? Will she ever give me a chance? People have been telling me to give her up for various reasons, and I keep thinking, maybe I should. But talk is cheap. I can't just stop loving and caring for someone.

If only I can turn back time. Stop all this from happening. Stop the kissing. Prevent her from meeting him. Or maybe even stopping myself from knowing her.... Is she worth all this pain? Is there even a prize at the end of all this?

Don't know what to do now. Fuck this.