Been a long time aye?

Been awhile since I last blogged... Anyway I did really well in the previous sem. Got a GPA of 4.58! Was so so happy when I got back my results. Haven't felt so happy in a long long time. Could really use that injection of happiness in my life.

Things between us now is more stable now I guess. More of a friendship status. Boundaries and line drawn is much clearer. Trying hard to get over her but it's hard, considering how deeply involved we have become. Just so sick of all the things that happened between us. All the drama and stuff. I wish that things had been simpler, even if that means I wouldn't get her in the end. Going through all those stuff was painful. I also don't know if she is right for me. At least for the past few months, what she's been saying and what she does is totally different. So tired of such stuff.

Oh yeah there's this other guy who is interested in her as well (scratch that. many other guys are jioing her as well but he seems to stand a fair chance). He was jealous of the fact that I went out with her on vday and went into rage mode and bought her like 1 million and 1 things. Think he spent like at least $100. But then again I also spent that much on her as well. lol. But the point is, I've been trying to let go of her. I want to not interfere between them but it's just so damn hard. I'm really trying my best, but what if it's not enough?

Work has been piling up as well. Got too many commitments. Canvassing is a real pain in the ass. Shouldn't have joined 2 business stuff man. Sigh.... Got too many party plans as well. Kara's birthday party, sbs pageant and pyjamas party. Going totally broke.

Clubbing seems to have lost it's thrill. Maybe I'm getting old? Dunno. Just that when I'm dancing I feel so empty. When you're out in the club dancing you're supposed to lose it all. Forget everything and just live that moment in the music. But in the midst of the dance floor with all the people squeezing and dancing next to me, I still feel the same. I still think about how fucking screwed my life is now. How everything is upside down.

I wonder what does it take for me to be happy again? Would I be happy again if I get her? I dunno. I really dunno.

"I've become what I can't be" - Stop and stare

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts" - Love the way you lie